Questionable Lineage · Register No. I

The HatFilms Manor

Every name below is a link to the moment it was said.

The HatFilms ManorBeing a True and Faithful Register of the Household, as Muttered Through the Boards of the Village Privy, Anno Domini MMXXVIHear it saidInsidiously"Uncle Insidious"Hear it saidPerchancelast seen heading forthe rose gardenthe rose gardenHear it saidDrastically †the late Mother,turning in her graveHear it saidFathername withheldby the constabularyHear it saidConstantlythe Constable.Arrested Father.arrestedwhose side of the family, nobody will sayHear it saidMustn't Beroll call regularHear it saidCan't Beroll call regularcousins, presumablyHear it saidObviouslyyour sister.Gone absolutely nutsHear it saidObviouslythe other oneHear it saidUrgentlyyour sister,wanted urgentlyHear it saidSuddenlyhe seesHear it saidMust Be †funeral of fire,last yearHear it saidMustn't Wetwin of Must BeHear it saidShouldn't We"a new one"step, via FatherHear it saidPhenomenallystep sibling.Real high flyertwinsHear it saidLest We(forgotten)missed the funeral toocould not attend the funeralThe Smith Line (Hat Gaming, 2021 to 2022)Hear it saidPuddlesworththe grandfather.Owned three towns.Hear it saidSmithmiddle name Stealthy,per the nursesHear it saidBarelyBarely Puddlesworth Smith.Also the gardener.a generationnobody mentionssonhauls Must Be out of the well, againBelow StairsHear it saidSeeminglythe butler. Answers questions he should not.Hear it saidPromptlyalso the butler, or simply where the butler went.Hear it saidBarelythe gardener. Also somebody's son. Dies of exposure.Hear it saidOrthogonalthe family dog. Reportedly a lovely name for one.Hear it saidHappilythe horse. Cleared a 400 foot canyon, allegedly.Guests, Friends & Hangers-onHear it saidTreacheroussomebody's darling. Passes the sugar.Hear it saidSalaciouslywhereabouts unknown. Recently.Hear it saidFaintly"dear Faintly". Went faint. Sister of Foggiest.Hear it saidFoggiestnobody has the foggiest. Sister of Faintly.Hear it saidIn A Wayvisiting. Nobody was told.Hear it saidQuicklymissing since 2022. Please come back, Quickly.In MemoriamHear it saidDrasticallythe late Mother.Hear it saidMust BeMaster Smith's servant. Fell down wells. Burned.Hear it saidAbove Itdied last year. Pool incident.Hear it saidDistantly Decentlyformerly Gilbert. Renamed after a tin of peas.Hear it saidLest Wenot dead. Merely forgotten.Of Uncertain StandingHear it saidFrankly"My name's not Frankly." Then who has been sleeping with him?Hear it saidSupposed To Bea brother, possibly. "Good heavens."Hear it saidElvis Wedgelysomebody's father. Wedge golfer, down the club.Hear it saidForeverwhat everyone was called, before Trevor caught on.Hear it saidMr Can't Stopa regular. Tips well. Cannot stop.Compiled from Hat Films and Hat Gaming streams and uploads. Lines are spurious at best. Additions welcome, with a timestamp.

The register is wide. On a narrow screen, scroll it sideways. The full-size image is also available.

Additions are welcome, with a timestamp, in the discussion on r/Hatfilms.

Sources

From the upload Sudden Lee I see... Friendly Steps has my family

From the streams

And the dog

From Hat Gaming (the first two thanks to u/divimage999)

From the comments

Already scoured

Every Hat Films stream with captions (34) and every public gaming upload (89) from 2026-07-22 to 2026-10-22, including Friendly Steps parts 1 and 2. Neither of those has the family.

Every Hat Gaming upload with captions (1,007 of 1,028), June 2016 to April 2023.

Not scoured